Getting over fear of jumping after a refusal

I understand that this feels tough. To me it sounds as though you and your horse need to build your confidence back up together, and to accept that for now you may need to put a little extra time into the groundwork and small fences. Use exercises that build your confidence, easier related distances tend to work well. You could also bring in some loose jumping (with positive reinforcement) and lunge your horse over a cross-pole to strengthen her without you on her back. It is also a good way to see how she moves, so you can read when her body is tense or not ready to jump higher.

I would also have her checked regularly by an equine therapist (if you are not already) to confirm that her back and body feel good. Read her as you ride. If it feels reluctant, lower your demands. If she feels keen and willing, you can try asking for a little more. If we ask too much and the horse is not ready, it is easy to take several steps backwards in her development. So give it time, training a horse goes up and down. Sometimes things happen along the way that mean we need to start over for a while, and that is completely okay! 😊🌸