Pony who bites and barges - how do I handle aggressive behaviour?

Hello. You are thinking along exactly the right lines: this kind of behaviour cannot be met with aggression or force.

Reading how you describe her, I see a horse who feels stressed and cornered and copes through the behaviours you list. You also say she is a kind child's pony who will let you do almost anything. That can be another way of coping with stress in a situation where the horse feels she has no choice. I cannot say whether that is the case for your pony, but a behaviour that is really about enduring is sadly often misread as consent. Think of how an Icelandic horse handles a snowstorm: it shuts down and waits it out. Horses do the same when they do not understand what is being asked and the input becomes too much to process, loading being a classic example. The pressure builds from both the people and the "box" they are being pushed towards, so they simply freeze and go nowhere.

Remember that horses are claustrophobic. Being tied up on the yard, for instance, can trigger that feeling, so when we come to handle them they show aggression instead. I teach my horses both: to stand tied, but also to stand loose at the grooming area, which means they can choose to leave if they need to. Early on they often do leave, and I simply park them again, kindly. After a while they stay put quite happily.

So what do you do with a horse you describe as "unable to behave"? My first thought is that the only behaviour she knows is being a horse. She has no idea what behaviour you expect of her. Rather than punishing what we see as bad, reward what we see as good.

In many cases it comes down to giving the horse time and approaching on her terms in every situation. How does she behave when you go to fetch her from the paddock or the stable? As well as time, give her space. When you approach, show her that you notice the moment she notices you. For example, you walk up in the paddock and she turns an ear towards you: stop. You might even back off a little. Give her time to see that you have seen her looking. Keep going like this until she is interested enough to close the last few steps to you herself 🙂

Do the same in the stable, on the yard. Treat the smallest change in her behaviour as a chance to show her that you see her. Imagine the horse as a friend: if your friend signalled that they did not want you any closer, what would you do? Apply that to the horse's situation.

To build further on the behaviours we want more of, groundwork is a very good way to find a shared language 🙂

Good luck, and I hope this gives you a little guidance to start with. Do come back with any questions.