A standard hackamore or a wheel hackamore, which is best?

Hi! How lovely to hear that you have started riding your horse bitless! I think your mum has a point. A standard hackamore counts as a harsh option, because its long shanks create a lot of leverage and a strong action. Fitting it correctly really matters. People often place a hackamore (or bitless options in general) too low on the bridge of the nose by mistake, where the nasal bone is thinnest and most sensitive. Sit a hackamore too low, and with bad luck the horse can be injured.

A wheel hackamore is often easier to use in several ways. To begin with, it is milder and kinder. It usually sits better, and it is easier to fit and use. A wheel hackamore also lets you adjust the strength, by setting the cheekpieces, the noseband and the reins in different ways to suit both the fit and the action for the particular horse you are riding. You normally have two holes to attach the reins to, between the front noseband and the back strap that runs under the chin. Attach the reins to the back hole and the action is mild, much like a sidepull. Attach them to the front option and you gain a little leverage, which also puts some pressure under the horse's chin. It is still a pleasant option, though.

PS. I read this as the bridle you are using being a cross-under (at Hööks these are simply named bitless bridles). If you have not already tried one, I would strongly recommend testing a sidepull as a bitless option. A sidepull works rather like a headcollar, only made for riding in. Horses usually find it easy to understand, easy to appreciate, and it is a very mild option when used correctly. So do take a look at it if you have not already.

Good luck, and I hope this helped! ☺️