Performance anxiety in my riding

Thank you for sharing your struggles with performance anxiety and how it affects you. It sounds as though you set very high standards for yourself, but also that you carry a lot of thoughts about what others might think of you. Worrying about what other people think is very common. For us humans, being liked by the group was historically a matter of survival, we would not have made it on our own. In today's modern society, other people's opinions of us are no longer life or death, but the brain still believes they are. It helps to remember that it is natural for the brain to fix so strongly on the approval of others.

You can break these patterns, and there are several ways to do it. One is to think about what matters to You and why You ride. Another is to dare to face the catastrophic thought that frightens you, such as making a fool of yourself by riding in a certain way, and try to accept it. Accepting what scares you most, and letting those thoughts simply exist, often takes the fear out of them. We tend to believe we have to get rid of the difficult thoughts and force ourselves to "think positively". For many people this only makes the negative, frightening thoughts shout even louder. Thoughts are only thoughts. Try meeting them with acceptance and letting them be there. Then put your focus on what you actually want, to be present and in the moment with your horse.